Wish You Knew Better
by letsbefwb
Summary: Bo receives a note from Lauren


**Author's Notes:** Just something that had been going on in my head after 3x12; no spoilers intended. There was just so many angst thoughts about Doccubus swimming in my head. Fyi, Sorry for any mistakes. Bo receives a note from Lauren. Feedback is very much appreciated. Enjoy :)

After the smorgasbord of destruction that had gone down at that godforsaken place, Bo was finally back at the Dal; thoroughly exhausted now that she was coming down from her adrenaline high. Everyone was drinking to their hearts content though many were oblivious to the reason for such a celebration where Trick had been willing to break out his precious buckthorn. But well, with all things fae, even in death, it was an occasion to celebrate.

Bo was not in a celebratory mood. Far from it, what she really needed was a listening ear and advice that might actually work in getting Lauren back. She could feel the onset of a huge headache coming, coupled with fatigue and a tumultuous amount of thoughts and emotions to sort through that she did not notice Kenzi sneaking up on her, wearing an expression of drunk elation.

"My Succubobo!" she slurred, "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

Startled, Bo spun around in her seat and just stared at Kenzi before muttering "I'm fine Kenz, just needed some air.. I will see you back at the crack shack alright" Without waiting for a reply, Bo grab her jacket and left with hurried steps, feeling like if she did not get out of the Dal soon, her head might just implode.

As she trudged along the streets, Bo was glad that there were little people in sight, especially any that were related to the Fae since right now she really was in no mood to make any small talk. Having accomplished the pressing matter of rescuing Dyson and exterminating the threat that was hunting the Fae, Bo was glad that they had eventually managed to come out on top of everything, victorious. But now that the dust is beginning to settle, she knew there was no way she could continue to avoid the raging questions that needed closure, that only Lauren could give. There was that nagging sense of betrayal as well and Bo is really trying her best to not let it eat her up, inside out. She was mad at her, yes. Bo felt like Lauren had given up on them, by leaving with the scheming, manipulative son of a bitch, but that anger and betrayal had came in second to the worry and anxiety that she had felt when she found out that the love of her life had gone missing. There was nothing lacking in terms of physical or emotional attraction, the one problem they had was communicating their attraction to each other.

As Bo continued walking aimlessly she made up her mind, break or not, she was going to head over to Lauren's apartment right now and let her know just how much she needed her and show her just how much Lauren needed her as well. They would put aside their misunderstandings and actively work through everything together. Hell, if she could be the champion of the Fae, why was she unable to be everything her lover needed. With everything that had gone down, Bo recalled telling Lauren that it was time they gave their relationship a shot, that life was too short and indeed that was true, Bo realized she can't and she won't let go of this relationship, no matter how bad the odds are.

With a determined look on her face, Bo pulled her jacket tighter around her to keep the chill out. As she slipped her hands into her pocket, Bo found a neatly folded note that was addressed to her. Feeling a little confused and curious, she unfolded the note carefully, immediately recognizing Lauren's doctory scrawl.

Her curiousity and confusion was slowly replaced by dread as she read through the letter. Quietly Bo slip to the ground, her legs giving way under her, the note that Lauren had written her, fluttering to the pavement. So this was what it feels like to be on the receiving end of the heartbreak stick.

Back at the Dal, Kenzi remembered vaguely Bo saying she needed some air. Well, with all the drinking going on, she needed some air too before heading back to the crack shack. Stumbling out into the chilly night air, Kenzi wandered along in her drunken stupor. What she didn't expect to find was Bo on a sidewalk, hugging her knees to herself, curled up as small as possible, rocking back and forth.

No longer drunk, Kenzi rushed to her side, worry etched on her face.

"BO! BO! What are you doing? What happen? Are you hurt?"

Bo was family, and there was nothing like a distraught family member to snap you out of any version of drunkeness.

Receiving no answer from Bo, Kenzi searched frantically around her for any reasons for the cause of Bo being the way she is. That was when she saw the letter. Though neatly folded, the note was filled with blotches of ink and dried up tearstains.

What she read, made her heart drop, as she knelt down and hugged Bo to her as tightly as her small frame allowed her..

_Dear Bo_

_ By the time you read this, I would be gone and I am sorry that I am leaving with just a note. Please forgive me. I never wanted to put you and the rest in danger. Please take care of yourself, Bo. You are always so ready to protect those you love and I love you for that but I can't help but worry about you. Don't ever doubt that I love you and always will. You are a wonderful person and that is why I need you to let me go._

_ I need you to let me go, so that you can be happy, Bo. So that you can have the white picket fence, 2.5 kids and a dog. I will never be enough for you to have that and as much as it hurts to leave, I can't allow myself to stand in the way of what you could have. You will get over me and you will be happy. Know that you will forever be in my heart. There is so much more I want to say __but I don't think I could, right now. Maybe if fate allows. We will meet again Bo. I love you. Goodbye Bo._

_ Love, Lo_

Kenzi knew then that there was nothing that she could do. Unbeknowst to Lauren, Bo was hopelessly in love with her. Everytime Bo was around Lauren, even she could feel the magnetic pull between them. She knew it is going to take more than smashing cars and eating tubs after tubs of ice cream for Bo to ever start feeling better.

For once, Kenzi wasn't so sure if there was even a way for her BoBo to get over Doc Hotpants. She just wished Lauren knew better..


End file.
